Episode 49: Humanoid High Hopes & Here Be Dragons

I howl like the wolf because I took a hauntingly good jaunt to the Edinburgh Festival during the week to see if it would be worth infecting the mind of the Murphy girl, as in Carol Murphy, the writer who created me, or so she says, to take The Body & Blood, the story of my life, to perform at The Festival sometime in the future. And lux a Lordy, I think she should. But I have a problem, what is a good way to infect the mind of the Murphy to take the festival plunge? Sweet talking doesn’t work with her. I think the best thing would be to appeal to the true masochist that she is and tell her that, bringing The Body & Blood to the festival is guaranteed to give her exhaustion and weight gain but it will be for the greater good of her cause, her work, and that includes spreading the word about me, everybody happy. Why not take part in the largest arts festival in the world in one of the world’s most beautiful cities, eh? Lets do this together, Murphy, I want to go back, if only in spirit. And in the meantime we can spread the love via this excuse for an Agony Aunt podcast, and use it to sell the show to our avid body of two listeners, you and me. Lets see how that one pans out.

But enough of that…it is time to get down and dirty with all the horror and sci fi miscreants in their own personal la la land having done something truly diabolical, desperate for someone to take on their cause and to ease the pain, and who by chance, in looking for any port in the storm, have landed on this particular one - The Vigilante Cannibal Nun as Agony Aunt comedy horror podcast, because they know that I’ve reached the depths of despair and addiction by eating the colonisers in mid 19th Century Ireland and giving their wares to the poor, whilst siphoning off some pieces for thon self, not realising that I already died in a random hunger strike, but not hamburger, that I took in a failed attempt to persuade the Catholic Church to do more for the starving in Ireland. Got it? Seems that my soul was already a goner. Who can you go to for support when you have committed the horror crime of the century….yes….someone worse that you. Speaking for myself, I only pretend to offer ya’ll a shoulder to cry on because, get this, I don’t give a flying fig about your woes, but I put on a mighty good sympathetic show. And I think that’s all that it takes, a good jolt of virtue signalling and absolutely nothing constructive, works for everyone else on the internet, why not me, hi. So here we go…welcome to Episode 49 Humanoid High Hopes & Here Be Dragons.